2020 what a year...
Who knew that the most exciting time of your life could also be the most terrifying?
This year was a big one, in more ways than one. First and foremost, I got pregnant with my first child. This should have been one of the most exciting times of my life! And it most certainly was, but...well, you know, this thing called COVID came along and kind of changed everyone's plans for practically all of 2020.
Does any of this resonate with you?
Were you excited for 2020?
Did you have big plans for 2020?
Did you have to either alter or cancel your plans because of it?
So many people had to change their plans around because COVID hit and flooded throughout the world. Vacation plans are down the drain, events are being canceled left and right, businesses closing down, I mean the list goes on and on. It's depressing.
"For me, 2020 has been the BEST YEAR EVER!"
My story is slightly different. For me, 2020 has been the BEST YEAR EVER! You might think I'm crazy saying that, but it's true. After battling infertility issues, I finally got pregnant! And you'll never guess when...right when we were ordered to work from home! I mean, how much more blessed could I get? I've been able to stay and work from home throughout my entire pregnancy. Who could have ever imagined that to happen?
Infertility Issues
I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 30 years old. According to the Mayo Clinic, "Endometriosis is an often painful disorder in which tissue similar to the tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus." Most often than not, endometriosis (endo) goes undiagnosed because the symptoms are quite similar to a woman's menstrual cycle.
"One of the most common gynecological diseases, endometriosis often goes undetected for years because the abdominal pain associated with the condition is mistaken for menstrual cramps, or because there may be no symptoms. On average, women in the United States will suffer from endometriosis for 10 years before receiving a proper diagnosis." - Yale Medicine
After I found that piece of information, I really started to think and evaluate my symptoms and came down to the conclusion that I believe I've been suffering from endo in my late teens to early 20s. In a weird way, I was at an ease in the sense that there was a reason why I wasn't getting pregnant.
Mind you, the way I was diagnosed with endo was that I went in for a regular routine OB check and let her know of some newer symptoms that I was dealing with. My OB did an ultrasound and told me that I had a chocolate cyst over my ovary. We scheduled a laparoscopic surgery, and after the surgery, I was told that she was able to remove the cyst; however, when she was in there she noticed that my pelvic floor was covered with endo and that she tried to remove some but there were too many for her to remove all of them. So I went along with my days, as usual, changed up my diet a bit (I'll talk about that a bit later), and three years later, I began having the same types of symptoms. This time I had gone to a different OB, as I had moved, and the same thing. He suggested that we do a laparoscopic surgery to remove the cyst. This time, after the surgery, he told me that I was at a level 3-4 endo. I began asking him about the possibility of having kids and he said that my only option was IVF.
Changing my diet
"I think that because my endo was so severe, that changing my diet may have not worked to its fullest potential."
After surfing the web and researching the ins and outs of endo, I decided to change my diet. I stayed away from:
red meat
dairy
gluten
caffeine
At this point, I had only had my first surgery. I think that because the endo was so severe, changing my diet may have not worked to its fullest potential. So I don't want to nix the idea that changing your diet could help with the symptoms of endo. And besides, it's not like it would harm you. If anything, you're doing your body a favor. Or you could think about it as a super long detox!
The dreaded question...are you having kids?
You hear stories of women who aren't even trying but get pregnant, a woman sneezed and she got pregnant! That's a bit extreme, but you get my drift. It really puts a toll on you when you hear stories like that or when people constantly ask you "when are you planning on having kids?" Or the dreaded gatherings when you see family members, relatives, or friends that ask you about it. What do you say? Should I spill the beans and lay out everything that I've gone through? I'd always play it off like we just didn't want to have kids because I truly thought that it wasn't an option for us.
Here's my take on the "are you having kids" question:
You don't know what the couple is going through. So don't ask.
Maybe the couple has decided that they don't want to have kids.
If the couple has had a kid(s) in the past and then they get asked the question of having more kids...again, don't ask. You don't know what they may or may not be going through.
The moral of the story is, quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's super personal. If they want to share that with you, then they will. You don't need to ask them. Period. I've been there, gone through it, and let me tell you...it's not fun. This journey is one BIG rollercoaster that you don't know how it ends.
My IVF Journey
Since my OB suggested IVF if we ever planned on having kids, I began researching all of the IVF clinics up and down the state of California. We were recommended by a family friend, who happens to be a doctor, to the best IVF clinic on the West Coast.
"Remember this, it's Gods plan not ours. If it is Gods will, then it will happen. If it isn't, then it won't happen. There's nothing that you could do to force it to happen. And when it does happen, there is nothing you could do to stop it from happening." - Feuna
We went in and did all of the tests under the sun...seriously, there were a whole bunch of tests we underwent along with the shots, pills, patches, and inserts. After we transferred the first embryo and it didn't take, we were devastated. We were then suggested to go and see an endo specialist. After seeing the endo specialist, I was then diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis with a frozen pelvis. Well, no wonder the embryo didn't attach. It had no chance of survival. Just like my past OBs, he suggested laparoscopic surgery. This time, the surgery lasted much longer than anticipated. My poor husband gets a call while I'm under the knife and the doctor asked him for his permission to remove one ovary and a fallopian tube. The reasoning for the removal was that the scar tissue was so bad from my previous surgeries that the ovary and tube were no good and it didn't make sense to leave them in there. Imagine waking up to that news! Yeah, not fun.
We were told that there was a high possibility that we'd be able to get pregnant naturally after surgery. So after I healed up we tried again. After a few months of trying, nothing. So, we decided to implant the last embryo. We did the transfer, and this time it actually attached! This was the BEST NEWS EVER! Or so we thought. My lab numbers weren't increasing the amount as they should and then I was told to stop all medications. Immediately after stopping the meds, I experienced a miscarriage. Then, something miraculous happened, my lab results were getting higher and higher to the rate that they should have been rising if I were pregnant. This was a concern to our doctor. My numbers should have been decreasing not increasing. I went in again and did an ultrasound and they couldn't find anything anywhere. Then I was ordered to go to the ER and get a methotrexate shot to kill off any multiplying cells as I was told that it was an ectopic pregnancy and they didn't want my one and only fallopian tube to burst.
"Methotrexate belongs to a class of drugs known as antimetabolites. It works by slowing or stopping the growth of cancer cells and suppressing the immune system." - Web MD
With this shot, you are told not to try to get pregnant for three months until the drug has completely left your system. Then after that, flu season hits. One month my husband gets sick and the next month I get extremely sick (still convinced that I may have had COVID). And then the month after that, we try again and this time we get pregnant...NATURALLY!
"Talk about answered prayers...We didn't loose our faith or hope in God regardless of the multiple issues we faced throughout the years." - Feuna
Talk about answered prayers! Let me tell you, God IS GOOD. There is a reason why we had to go through this seven-year journey. Throughout the whole time, we continuously prayed, asking for a natural pregnancy, and a healthy baby. We didn't lose our faith or hope in God regardless of the multiple issues we faced throughout the years. I'm not going to lie, these were some of the toughest years of our lives. We went through a ton emotionally, financially, and mentally...but in the end, it was all worth it. We could now add Mom + Dad to our resume of life when our miracle baby graces us with their presence in December of 2020. And that my friends is why 2020 is the best year yet!
Lessons Learned
If 2020 has taught us anything it's this...slow down, take time for self-care, be around the people you love the most because you don't know what tomorrow will hold, and never lose faith and hope. Never stop praying.
xo - Feuna
